With much discussion about networking, including the online ’social’ type, it’s clear that many of us don’t really understand what it is and how to do it. Recruiter/writer Nick Corcodilos, in Ask The Headhunter newsletter, “Too late to network?” (March 18, 2008), sums up what is clearly the issue, to my mind:
“True networking is when you spend time with people who do the work you want to do, talking shop. Good networking involves working with other active professionals, even if it’s on a volunteer project, or to learn something new. Good networking is rubbing elbows and enjoying talk and activities related to the work you want to do.
“Here’s the thing that confuses people and frustrates them: They think we network to get our next job. That’s absolutely wrong. We network to get smarter, to make new friends, to build our value and our credibility in our professional community, to help others, and to enjoy our work outside of the job. Job opportunities arise out of networking; they are not the reason to do it.”
Networking is all about building community, then nurturing it for the benefit of all who are part of it: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main….” (John Donne, 1572-1631). Why we have lost this understanding is anyone’s guess: our focus on individual freedom, many options and choices in products, services, and activities in a capitalistic economy.
It would seem that Jesus’ words to us are truly ‘the’ life principle. “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get.” (The Message, Matthew 7:12). The message is clearly a proactive one, ‘take the initiative,’ but not in a self-centered manner. Rather, put the other person(s) first in your life, and ‘what goes around will come around.’
This ‘ethic of reciprocity,’ the ‘Golden Rule,’ is evidenced through world history:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity
What if we–you and I–applied this transformational principle to our careers, daily work assignments, and interactions with others in the work search process and our efforts to keep our jobs and stay employable?
Excellent piece. “Why we have lost this understanding…” is a real good question. But I see it everyday as you do. Life is so much richer when consideration of others is first. Meeting, enjoying and assisting others when you can will drive more opportunities than any directed activity.
The ethic of reciprocity is also not known or not recalled either. Great reminder.
mjh
Comment by michael j hillsey — April 14, 2009 @ 8:29 am
Excellent points, and a great blog!
Comment by Jack Brown — April 16, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
Gregory James wrote recently about the biggest mistakes that sales reps make. If you are ‘thinking-of-yourself-as-self-employed,’ then the principles can easily apply to us all, for we all have ‘customers’ of our ’services,’ even if the work we provide is as a volunteer.
Interestingly, his #1 mistake is at the heart of networking and building community, for that is what we all need–a community where we can contribute and where as we have a need we can go to get advice, help and even a ‘kick-in-the-pants’ from time to time. Here’s what he said:
“Mistake #1: Failing to build long-term relationships.
* Why you do it: Too many opportunities, and too little time.
* The likely result: The easiest customers [contacts] are always repeat customers [contacts]. You’ll be constantly be building your pipeline from scratch, which means more work for less money.
* How to fix it: Think of selling as a way to help people, and to change the world for the better. Honor your customers [contacts] and your relationships, just as you honor your friends and family.”
[from Top 10 Dumb Mistakes Sales Reps Make, by Geoffrey James, BNET Sales Machine blog, July 21st, 2009]
If you substitute the word, customers, with the word, contacts, you’ll see that what he is suggesting for sales professionals is true for everyone who is trying to be part of a mutually supportive community. Practicing this ‘golden rule’ is what is good and hopeful for all of who are trying to continuously find work and stay employable.
Comment by admin — July 22, 2009 @ 10:33 am
Ken:
Your comments about the true jest of networking are commendable, and it is truly so, that a majority of the business community of less than 30-40 somethings have lost they’re way, relative to the importance of helping others and enriching lives. Not only have we pressured our youth to crave material success, forgetting to teach them humbleness, but also have not stressed the importance of allowing others with-in their environ. Tis SAD.
TAO Wisdom suggests a value of Living in obscurity, with the absolute of helping others as your priority goal, will ultimately cloud your existence with gracious, unfettered gratuity abounds from all others,by withdrawing unto thyself and learn to allow others, helping them achieve they’re vision of tranquil oneness. Suggestion: The next person you meet today, be it friend or foe, practice the Tao Wisdom. (Replace the pronoun I…..for You in any comments) i.e. instead of saying, “Let me show how I did this type of work your searching for years,” remark “you seem to be doing so well with your new career interests, let us discuss some new methods you may utilize for possible better understanding.”
Letting your discussion partners know at all times, that you are fully engaged in their future well-being, rather than enhancing or trumpeting your own ego, will spawn the goodness of others from with-in. Watch the power of the TAO in others unfold by being in the background, as deeply rooted as possible, unnoticed for the entire 24-hour period, stifling any inclinations to compare yourself to others (Friend, Family or Foe) nor drawing attention to yourself. Make a sole commitment to be completely interested in [an]other’s advancement today as recommended by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Living the Tao” (Change your thoughts, Change your Life, page 177, “Wisdom of Obscurity”).
The fruit of your 24-hour efforts will be immeasurable in the witness of pleasure in the goodness returned. For as follows in the 32nd verse of Tao Te Ching, “….Know here the Wisdom of Obscurity..to contain, let expand..thy gentle outlasts the strong, as the obscure will outlast the the obvious…..as preyed upon fish cannot leave deep water to survive, just as a country’s weapons should not be displayed.”
Remember………..Learn to allow and others will provide for sustainability!
Comment by Douglas Anderson — October 27, 2009 @ 10:32 am